Just a Feeling
by lein-kenkoishii
Summary: We were childhood friends. I confessed but he rejected me. He was in love with another. Unfortunately, we were arranged to be married. Everything went downhill from there. We stopped being friends the moment I said 'I do'. Sakura and Sasuke POV. One shot.


**Summary**: We were childhood friends. I confessed but he rejected me. He was in love with another. Unfortunately, we were arranged to be married. Everything went downhill from there. We stopped being friends the moment I said 'I do'. Sakura and Sasuke POV. One shot

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto any of the characters. They rightfully belong to their respective owners.

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><p><strong>JUST A FEELING<strong>

**Sakura's POV**

I've known Sasuke my entire life. We're childhood friends. We practically grew up together. It's amazing how he knows me to well. He's like a brother that I've never had. My fondest memory of him was when we were in middle school. We weren't in the same class at that time. I was so used to having him by my side.

My classmates called me weird or freak. Maybe it was because of my pink hair, my wide forehead or probably because I was different from them. Well, you know how teens were. I like to be alone. I don't play sports, I love studying and music. I was often bullied. Well, I never did have many friends to begin with. I only have Sasuke, and nothing else seems to matter.

I told him of the bullying. He taught me how to fight my own battles and to stand up for myself. It was indeed a proud moment when I told them off. It was true. With him by my side, I became strong and confident. He was my rock. I have always relied on him. Then after, I became more conscious of him. I was probably becoming delusional, over thinking things, blowing simple gestures out of proportion. Before I knew it, I was in love with him. At the tender age of 15, I have my first love. I didn't have enough courage and confidence to confess. I was probably afraid of what may happen.

It was also during that time when I discovered my talent and love for playing the violin. My feelings for him were so overwhelming. I channeled these emotions through my violin. I was able to create wonderful music with such emotions. Sensei told me it was a gift that I should hold on to.

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><p><strong>Sasuke's POV<strong>

I was happy that things were going well for Sakura. When we were assigned to different class, I was afraid of what could happen to her. She was a really shy girl who often clings to me. Not that it bothered me; I kinda like her being around.

Then she mentioned the bullying incident. My blood boiled. They dared to make fun of her. I told her to stand up for herself and fight her own battles. She only smiled. That's how she is. She would tend to smile to hide her pain and sufferings.

Without her knowing, I confronted her bullies. I told them off and threatened them. I told them to apologize to her or else. A few minutes later, I saw her running towards me with a big smile on her face. "I did it! I did it!" She exclaimed and hugged me. "We're friends now." I smiled inwardly. "That's good," I said patting her head.

One night, our parents were invited to a musical recital. We tagged along. We watched each musician showcase their craft. When the violinist stepped in, I noticed her eyes twinkle with excitement. She was drawn to the instrument. "I want to play that one" She told me confidently. "I'm going to be like her." I smiled.

She was amazing, a musical prodigy indeed. It was her first time playing the violin but she played like a pro. Her sensei told her that it was a gift, something that she should hold on to. After a few months of practice, she was finally invited to perform for the recital.

**Sakura's POV**

I was invited to perform in a musical recital! I can't believe it. This is really happening. I was so nervous.

"Sakura-san," sensei called. "You're up next. Break a leg."

"Hai." I walked into the stage. I played Pachelbel's Canon in D. Everything seemed to flow out of me, my emotions, feelings of happiness and love. I closed my eyes and smiled. I felt like I was floating. It was at that moment when I decided I should tell him how I feel, after the recital. I could still remember it like it was yesterday.

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><p><em><strong>Flashback<strong>_

_The recital ended. Everyone has already left the auditorium. I was in the dressing room, still wearing my black mini dress. I stared at my reflection. 'It's now or never.' I picked up my violin and rushed out of the room. I immediately spotted him by the door. My heart skipped a beat. He seemed to have sensed my presence. He slowly turned around. "You were great out there, Sakura-chan. A real music prodigy." He told me. He walked up to me and patted my head. "Let's go home." He said softly. He began to walk away._

"_Hai," I replied as I trailed behind him. I was so nervous, even more nervous than performing in front of a live audience. "To let true love remain unspoken is the quickest route to a heavy heart." I think I heard that from a fortune cookie or something. Okay, here goes nothing…_

_I suddenly stopped. "Sasuke-kun," I called out. _

_He stopped and turned to look at me. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"_

"_I love you!" I confessed. My heart was pounding loudly across my chest. "I've been in love with you since the time that you helped me with those bullies. I gripped my violin case harder._

_His eyes widened at my sudden confession, and then he averted his gaze from me. 'NO!' I thought 'I know what you're going to say!' _

"_Thank you," he said quietly._

'_NO! Don't say it!' I chanted. 'Please don't say it!'_

"_I'm sorry. I can't see you like that." He looked at me sympathetically._

_My chest tightens. I suddenly feel suffocated. I can't breathe. 'Calm down. Take a deep breath and free your mind.' It took me a few minutes to recover. I laughed. "Whew! Thank you, Sasuke-kun. I wasn't really expecting anything."_

_LIAR!_

"_I just wanted to tell you how I feel. Please forget that it ever happened…hahaha… It's just too embarrassing." I told him avoiding his gaze._

"_Sakura." He said._

"_I hope nothing changes between us. Well, I doubt that though. Let's keep things the way they are now okay? You go ahead. I have to drop by sensei's" _

"_Sakura, I'll go with-" _

"_No! It- it's okay. I'll manage. Please just leave me alone for today." I didn't wait for his reply. I ran as far as where my legs could bring me. Tears were spilling over my cheeks. I don't know where to go, who to seek comfort from. It was always Sasuke who was by my side, patting my head, telling me things will work out._

_My 16th summer ended with rejection._

_End of Flashback_

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><p><strong>Sasuke's POV<strong>

I watched as she ran away from me. I sat down by the benches and cradled my head in hands. 'What have I done?' I somehow had a hint of your feelings for me but I tried my best to deny it.

How do you thank someone who has loved you more than anyone?

'You have always been my best friend, the best confidant I've ever had. I found myself growing with you. You never judged me despite of the crazy things I've done. You were always there for me…understanding. Ha! I could do no wrong in your eyes.' I thought to myself. 'Logic tells me you're a perfect match for me; but I never saw you as more than that though. I'm sorry, Sakura.'

I'm really, really sorry.

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><p><strong>Sakura's POV<strong>

Surprisingly, everything went back to the way things were. It was as if my confession never happened. It still hurts though, but I'm just thankful that he doesn't hate me. 'Please, at least let me continue loving you,' I silently prayed.

I was happy that he still considered me his best friend. He began to confide in me about a girl in school that he liked and how he confessed and where they went on their first date. I died every time he spoke her name because it hurts to be a friend when I wanted to be more than that. It hurts that I have to lie to myself, force myself to smile and say that your happiness made me happy. Sometimes it's just too much to bear. I bleed. I am human, after all.

It was before our high school graduation when we learned of the arranged marriage. They said it was for the benefit of merging both companies. Unfortunately, he was dating Karin at that time. He was enraged. I've never seen him this mad. Did the thought of getting married to me really disgust you? I was sitting in the living room with my parents. I can hear him having a heated argument with his parents in the den. He then stormed out and grabbed my arm. He dragged me to his room.

He scowled at me. "Do something!" he yelled at me.

"Sasuke," I said quietly. "I tried talking to them but they just wouldn't listen. They said it is for the benefit of the merger."

"Then try harder! Call it off!" he yelled. I was getting really scared. I've never seen this side of him before. "Oh I get it. This is what you wanted, right? You probably suggested the idea. You're still in love with me and you can't get over the fact that I love Karin and NOT you! I will never love-"

SLAP!

I slapped him. I panted. Tears were welling up my eyes. My heart was hurting. I felt like I've died all over again. "How dare you!" I cried. "I admit, I do still love you and perhaps that will never change but I wouldn't do something this desperate and outrageous. You, of all people should know that!" I yelled as I rushed out of his room. I ran back home and locked myself in my room, crying my heart out.

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><p><strong>Sasuke's POV<strong>

I froze, still looking at the space that Sakura previously occupied. 'What the hell is wrong with me? I can't believe I just told her that.' I thought.

"Sasuke!" my dad's yelling snapped me out of my thoughts. "What did you just do? Sakura has nothing to do with this."

My mom tried to pacify him and was able to convince him to calm down. "I'll talk to him dear. Please just calm yourself down." My dad finally agreed, against his will as he grumbled on his way out.

My mom approached me. "Sasuke dear, why are you so against the idea of marrying Sakura? What happened between you two? You were best friends, practically inseparable. Besides she's the most logical choice to be your wife. Please just give it a try."

I just nodded, too upset to say anything. 'Yeah, she's the logical choice, but I've never really been a fan of logic.'

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><p><strong>Sakura's POV<strong>

I never really knew what happened after that. It seemed that his parents talked some sense into him. He dropped by earlier on his way to meet Karin. He apologized and said that he'll give it a try but it doesn't change the fact that he still loves Karin. And that he has no intention of breaking up with her.

"I'm sorry," I told him.

Things hasn't been the same ever since.

After our high school graduation, we began living together as an engaged couple. But we became more like roommates or perhaps acquaintances rather than a couple. We both went to the same University. I pursued a career in the performing arts while he took up courses related to business and economics. We hardly ever saw each other. Last I heard about him was that he broke up with Karin. Ironic as it may sound, even though we live together, I didn't know anything about him. I knew that he dated other girls when we were together. I pretended not to notice, yet I bleed again.

We got married 2 years after. It was… a solemn ceremony. It was a lot different from what I imagined my wedding would be. Sad to say, it felt as though we were attending a funeral. I honestly felt like crying when I approached the altar. During the reception, he avoided me at all cost, spending most of his time with his business partners. I was left alone at our table. I pretended to be strong; I smiled despite of all the hurt I'm feeling inside. When Ino, my co-teacher, approached me, I immediately broke down. I hugged her tightly.

We spent our wedding night on separate beds. Everything went downhill thereafter.

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><p><strong>Sasuke's POV<strong>

I peeked at her as she hugged her friend. Ino, I think. It was obvious that she has been holding back her tears. I downed my drink and focused my attention to our business partners.

I broke it off with Karin the moment I learned of our engagement. That bitch! She was only after my money but unfortunately, I was too blinded by my so-called love for her. After that, I began to date other women. We were already engaged at that time. Actually, we even lived together. I know it pained her to see me with other women. Perhaps it was intentional or maybe not. I think I wanted to show her how much she ruined everything between me and Karin.

I never went out with the same girl twice. Believe it or not, I never slept with any of them. I only went as far as kissing. It just seems that it wasn't right, as if something was missing. 'Then it dawned me, I was looking for you in them. Maybe I love you. I was just too stubborn to prove logic otherwise.'

'I knew that this wasn't the type of wedding that you had in mind. I'm sorry for that. You wanted a simple, small wedding, one with our families and close friends. There's so much more that you wanted but I can't give that to you.'

During the ceremony, she was absolutely breathtaking. I resisted the urge to deepen the kiss when we were pronounced as husband and wife. But I don't deserve you…I really don't. Because a month after our wedding, I had an affair.

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><p><strong>Sakura's POV<strong>

We've been married for 5 years already, a painful and unhappy married life. Still no kids yet, if you're wondering. I mean how that can be even possible! We've never even slept together. We've never held hands, go on dates, or even celebrate birthdays, holidays and special occasions together. The most that I've received were flowers from my mom. So yeah, I'm already 27 years old and still a virgin. But that's the least of my problems now.

I woke up at around 5am. This has been my routine ever since. I wake up at 5, prepare breakfast, go to work, violin practice then prepare dinner when I get home. I made my way downstairs to the kitchen and was greeted by Naoko-chan. She is 3 years older than I am and she's been with us for 4 years already. She's more like an older sister I never had.

"Ohayou, Uchiha-sama," she greeted me.

"Nao-chan," I pouted. "I told you to please call me Sakura"

"But Uchi-"

"I'm going to ignore you until you call me by my name," I said childishly laughing as I began preparing breakfast.

"Hai, Sakura-sama," she said dejectedly, then laughed. "How was your sleep, Sakura-sama?"

I sighed and smiled longingly. "Same old. Same old. I'm hoping for a wonderful dream though. Yet it certainly seems to be way out of my reach."

She didn't respond. I was somehow comforted by her silence.

"I do admire your strength, Sakura-sama," she said softly. "However, even the strongest tree will bow down to the ground. We're only human after all. We break. We bleed. Your heart can only take so much, you know."

I stopped what I was doing. My eyes widened in surprise. Tears were flowing through my eyes. Naoko hugged me. I broke down. The walls that I've built for so long to protect myself from this came crumbling down. I felt vulnerable.

"Now, now, dear," Naoko said. "Let it all out."

"It's was hard not to love him," I sobbed. "I tried to give up and let him go, but I just can't help myself. Every single time a flicker of hope shines through. My heart holds on to it, refusing to let it go. But those were just moments, fleeting and transient." I sobbed even harder.

"You love him without question. But it's just a shame that after all these years, he never returned your feelings." I looked up as she cradled my face in her hands. "You have to let him go, free yourself. You need to be happy. You owe yourself that. He doesn't deserve you."

A few more minutes of crying my eyes out, left me feeling quite refreshed. I hugged Naoko and thanked her for the good cry.

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><p><strong>Sasuke's POV<strong>

The affair lasted for only a month. There was nothing more to it. It was purely lust. I wonder what drawn me to her, perhaps it was the fact that she reminded me of Sakura. I ended it a month after.

I began to devote myself to work, spending more time in the office rather than at home. I would go to work early and come home late. I avoided her to the point of working even on holidays and weekends. We never really had a decent conversation. The longest that we've talked was when I would call her up to tell her that I'll be home late. I often hear disappointment evident in your voice.

Little did she know that I often wake up early and listen to her hum as she prepares breakfast. Then I would go back to my room and pretend to be asleep when she was about to finish. When I come home late, I always peek in her room and kiss her goodnight. At around 3pm in the afternoon, I would take a short break from work, drop by her school and listen to her play the violin. Then I'd leave without a trace. I pretended to forget her birthday, our wedding anniversaries or even Valentine's day. Yet every single time, I'd sent her flowers that she assumed were from her mother. I wrote her short notes and placed them in between the pages of every book she owned. I may look like a stalker.

'Logic has finally proved me wrong. I have always been in love with you. I was just too blind to see. I really miss you.'

One morning as I approached the kitchen, I saw her sobbing soundly and clinging to Naoko for dear life. She was mumbling incoherently. It pained me to see that I was the cause of all these. I went back to my room and got ready for work.

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><p><strong>Sakura's POV<strong>

I love being around kids. How I envy them. They are so carefree. I often wondered that if things were different, what kind of kids we would have; a shy one like Hinata, mischievous like Kiba or brooding like Neji.

"Sakura-sensei!" Toma called out. "Will you play a song for us?"

I smiled. "Hai. Now gather around kids. This one is an Italian drama music composed by Pietro Mascagni called Cavalleria rusticana." Halfway through the performance, I cried. The kids asked me what was wrong. I lied; I told them those were tears of joy.

My mom called when I got home. They are currently traveling across Europe, as what the call their 'second honeymoon'. They are just so much in love.

"Sakura," she greeted me. "We're in Greece right now. This place is just so majestic. I wish you're with us, honey. We miss you."

"I miss you too, mom," I said longingly. "How are you and Dad?"

She giggled. I swear, they behave like teenagers in love. "We're fine dear. How are you and Sasuke? Is there any news on my grandchildren?"

"Fine'" I replied. "We haven't really discussed it yet, you know. He's been really busy with work." We actually haven't ever talked yet much more discuss about having children.

"Well, we're not getting any younger dear," she said softly. "I want grandkids, lots of them! Oh by the way, your father and I have been arguing about something. What was the first book Sasuke gave you? You know, it was on your 12th birthday. I remember you brought it with you everywhere you go. I told him it was 'The Little Prince'. Well he's insisting it was a book about Pandas or something…" she continued to blabber on.

"Mom, it was The Little Prince," I replied softly. 'Now where did I put it again?'

"See! I told you!" I heard her tell my father. "Thank you dear. Love you. Say hi to Sasuke for me, okay."

"Bye mom."

The Little Prince. I began to remember. It was that book that triggered my love for reading.

_On__ne__voit__bien__qu'avec__le__cœur.__L'essentiel__est__invisible__pour__les__yeux._

("One sees clearly only with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye.")

I remember spending countless times in Sasuke's library, reading. 'Come to think of it…' I thought as I went upstairs to the library. 'I have forgotten about it. Where could it be?' I began to search through the shelves. 'Ah there it is.' I reached out for the book. I dusted its cover. It was quite worn out; the papers were old and yellowish. I flipped through the pages and a note fell out of it. My eyes widened as I picked it up. I recognized Sasuke's handwriting. It was dated the day after our wedding.

'_I'm sorry. I know that this was not the type of wedding that you wanted. I'm really sorry. You deserve so much better.'_

I was surprised. I flipped through the pages again. I found nothing. I began to search through the pages of the other books. I found one note after the other. It was concise, often ending with 'I'm sorry' and 'Thank you'.

'_I had an affair. I'm sorry. There was nothing more to it. I already ended it. I'm sorry.'_

'_I heard you humming as you prepare breakfast; that alone comforts me. I'm sorry for not being able to eat it with you though.'_

'_I'm sorry I came home late. The dinner you made was delicious. Thank you.'_

'_You played the violin beautifully. I dropped by earlier to hear you play. It is indeed a gift that you should hold on to.'_

'_Happy anniversary. I'm sorry I pretended to forgot. I hope you loved the flowers. Thank you.'_

'_The chocolates were delicious. Thank you.'_

'_You look absolutely gorgeous. I really don't deserve you.'_

Tears were flowing down my cheeks. My heart swelled. The flowers were from you? I can't believe after all these years… I found and read hundreds more of these short notes from Sasuke. The last one was the longest. It was written yesterday.

_Sakura_

_I'm really sorry for what I've made you go through. You really did love me unconditionally. At that time when you confessed, I was confused. I initially did not think of as someone like that. So when you told me how you felt, I didn't know what to do. I was afraid that I would lose the friendship that we had. You were my best friend, best confidant a guy could ever ask for. I began to trust you with things that I normally wouldn't even admit to myself. You let me be me. You let me screw up, make mistakes and you were always there to pick me up. You never judged me despite the crazy things I did. You were just there, listening, understanding. I could do no wrong in your eyes. You made me feel that no matter what I did, I was still someone worthy to be your best friend._

_I never really understood why you chose me. There were better guys who liked you, but you were just too oblivious to notice them. You never asked for much; hell, you never asked for anything. You were content with all I could give, precious little though it was. It was really easy. A word, a smile, another walk home, for you, would suffice. But thanking you now would seem rather futile. It doesn't seem enough. Not even my sincere gratitude for your affection, for your presence in my life, could completely compare with all you have given me._

_I'm sorry for the numerous times that I've hurt you, for cheating on you when we were engaged, for having an affair now that we're married. I guess I was just trying to prove everyone wrong. There was always something missing. But I seemed I bit off more than I can chew. And in the end, it was you who suffered. It was then that I realized that I was looking for you in them, when you're actually by my side. I have always been in love with you. I was too stubborn to even admit that to myself. I have finally come to terms with what I feel for you. I longed to touch you, to hold your hands, to kiss you, to cuddle and to love you. But I kept on thinking I do not deserve you after all the things I've done to you. I know it's already too late, you've had enough. I understand. I broke your heart in more ways than one. I dragged you to my messed up life long enough, I have to let you go. As much as I don't want to, I have to set you free. I'm so sorry._

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

_But please, let me continue loving you even if you've found another._

_Thank you._

_Sasuke._

"Stupid Sasuke," I sobbed.

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><p><strong>Sasuke's POV<strong>

I couldn't get her sobbing image out of my head. I wasn't able to get any work done. 'I have to see her,' I thought. I immediately stood up and rushed out of the office.

"Naruto!" I said. "Cancel all my appointments for the afternoon."

"But, Teme, why-"

I stopped and smiled. "I have to be with my wife."

"Naoko," I greeted her as I entered the house with flowers on my hand. She seemed surprise to see me home this early. "Where is she?"

"At the library, Uchiha-sama."

My eyes widened. 'Did she found them?' I quickly ran upstairs and found her sitting on the floor sobbing. I placed the flowers by the table and slowly approached her.

"Sakura." I saw her froze and stood up.

"Stupid Sasuke!" she cried. I hugged her from behind.

"I know. I'm sorry." I said softly. "It took me 5 years to realize that it has always been you."

She turned to face me. "Stupid! Why must you be so stubborn?" She hugged me tightly, as if I would disappear if she released me.

"I love you." I finally said. Her eyes widened. She smiled as she pressed her lips to mine. 'I really don't deserve you. With just three words, you forgave me with all your heart.'

"I never stopped loving you."

**END**

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><p><em><strong>I'll stop loving you<strong>_

_**(reposted from Wishing You Knew's profile)**_

_When diamonds never sparkle and flowers cease to grow_

_When thunder doesn't echo and rivers do not flow_

_When hearts no longer wonder and hands are never held_

_When__smiles__are__only__memories_ _and__hope__is__never__felt_

_When trees no longer blossom and the stars refuse to shine_

_When autumn has no falling leaves and winter no longer dies_

_When time has no more tomorrows and rainbows have no hue_

_When god alone commands me then I'll stop loving you._

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><p><strong>Author<strong>**'****s****notes:**Hi! This was inspired by the song Just A Feeling by Maroon 5 as well as the poem above. I initially wanted it to be really angsty. This is very Sasuke and Sakura centric. Not much appearance of the other Naruto characters. So what do you guys think? I hope you guys liked it. I'm sorry I left the ending a bit hanging. Review please. Thank you so much for reading. I'll be updating Life's Idiosyncrasies hopefully by next week:)


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